My friends and I were vacationing near a lake in the Adirondacks recently. We are all horny twenty-somethings, with differing personalities, except there are two jocks, one better looking than the other, a smart tall guy, and all the girls are the same- sort of bimboish idiots, except the brunette who is hot but wont give it up, the bitch.
We are great friends!
Well, one night we were drinking cheap beer by the campfire and us guys were telling scary stories to frighten the easy blondes. Suddenly, we heard a loud noise. It was a screeching horror that penetrated our ears much like the sharpest razor...to our ears. A sound (i love monkey) so vile and so forbading that of course, we knew... it mustve been the wind.
Anyway, everyone got explosive diarrhea and died. Well , that brunette biotch didnt but I will get her medula in the sequel. Since that night Ive craved brains, especially yours, Ebola George, and all I can do to speak now is scream "Touchdown!" everytime I crap my shorts while gripping the ceiling.
Big Larry The Jock who once wanted in your pants but now wants your brains.
Dear Big Larry etc.,
You fucking amateur. I cant believe you arent speaking in tongues yet! Have you even learned to catapult feces from a breathtaking distance? Dont write me again until you know the taste of Martha Stewart.
Sir Ebola George